Calling card

Calling cards... I always thought it was funny when my mom used this term. No, I'm not talking about a prepaid calling card so you can call anywhere in the U.S. for just 2 cents a minute. I'm talking about what someone leaves behind to let you know they were there. The Joker, for example, left a joker card behind so people would know who's handy work to admire (admire or clue-in Batman?). Regardless, you see this happen with a lot of villains now days in movies. My point is, that I'm housesitting for my parents right now and watching their black lab, Dozer. Dozer is big. Dozer left a "calling card" this morning. Both dogs seemed fine last night, and both dogs seemed fine this morning when Brenan took them out. However, Brenan can't see at 6:30 in the morning since he doesn't put his contacts in. He can smell things though. 2 and 2 were not adding up, so he put in his contacts, and came back upstairs with some disparaging news. Dozer left us a calling card... How do we know it was Dozer? Well, compare a pug to a lab and you'll understand why. So apparently poor Dozey was sick last night. All three types of sick. Nothing stayed in. Nothing. Now, I'm not trying to gross anyone out, but rather simply trying to set up the debacle of cleaning such a mess without paper towels, napkins, or gloves (because there were NONE of these in the house). Problem number three- My parents are in Arizona at my sister's wedding which, at this point, started in 30 minutes. So we frantically are calling them trying to find something...ANYTHING to clean the mess with. Our solution? A dust pan, a tupperware lid, garbage can, toilet, toilet paper, 409, and Lysol. It was no easy task. We were gagging and luckily, we hadn't eaten breakfast yet, or there would have been bigger problems. So, remember, next time you're watching a dog, make sure its owners didn't leave Halloween candy at dog level and you will have a happy dog.