I'm tired. I'd like to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time. Lately 3 hours has been a luxury, too. I am ready to take my sleep back. I am ready to start the rest of my life, filled with fun days with my kids, kicking butt around the house, and feeling invincible. The few nights that I've had good sleep I have been invincible the next day. No amount of green smoothies can make up for horrible sleep, trust me.
My lovely son who always seems to be full of life and energy will not sleep through the night anymore. The thing that kills me most is that he used to! Just after this amazing point in our lives of very rest-filled nights he got sick and essentially reverted back to newborn sleeping. After a winter of mild but persistent colds he is now oh-so-used to mom and dad's comfort at night. He doesn't take bottles. He doesn't take pacifiers. He will take a sippy cup, but only if it's water and he won't take it if he's upset. He won't take mamma's milk from anything/anyone but mamma. In his fits of rage/crying he throws any comfort object we offer him. He will cry for hours if we let him (we don't). He will rock/walk to sleep- after 30 to 45 min. Should I go on? I think we see the picture here...mom and dad are suckers. Fool me once, fool me twice, fool me for nearly 365 days...shame on me. But we still love you.
But that's okay, because starting tonight everything is changing. We won't pick him up from his crib. I won't nurse him to sleep initially and I won't feed him past 11. We will hear a lot of crying. We might even have to put miss thang back to sleep several times if his crying wakes her up. I will not sleep well tonight. I may have to sit propped up against his crib all night in the rocking chair (hopefully not). He might even vomit (REALLY hope not). Mom will be there for you and I will visit, but you are putting yourself back to sleep tonight buddy, no matter how many cute little tears you shed and no matter how much my heart breaks. Wish us luck.
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